Safe Harbor, Inc. :: A Safe Home, When Home Isn't Safe

Examples of Abusive Behaviors l Causes of Domestic Violence l Myths about Domestic Violence l Laws Pertaining to Domestic Violence l Cycle Theory of Violence l Relationship Wheels l Facts l

Cycle Theory of Violence
In her book The Battered Woman, Leonre Walker has described what she calls the "Cycle Theory of Violence," which she derived from her study of 120 battered women.

The cycle of violence can be broken down as follows:
Phase One: Tension building

The woman can sense tension mounting.
The husband may lash out some, restrain himself, act contrite.
Many women feel that it is their responsibility to head off the violence, and that when it occurs, it is their fault.
She tries to appease him, stay out of his way.
She says to herself, "Thank God it isn't worse," rather than expressing her anger.
The tension is never alleviated; it keeps building; there is some residue which continues to build with each incident.

Phase Two: The Acute Battering Incident

Finally there is an explosion leading to an acute battering incident.
As each partner senses the approach of a battering incident, they are uneasy.
The man increases his smothering and brutality, senses she may leave and gets possessive to keep her.
The woman is less able to manipulate her environment to head of the attack; he accuses her of adultery as he senses her withdrawal.
The woman can't stay in the psychological tension, so she may provoke a scene so she can have at least that much control over the situation.
She also knows that once Phase 1 is over, Phase 2 will begin.
The man in Phase 2 knows that he is out of control, even if he is not verbalizing it. He ends up not understanding what happened.
Victims know that fighting back in Phase 2 can be dangerous, but may need to release the tension.
Phase 2 is the shortest phase.
The woman says "At least it wasn't worse." The woman usually refuses medical treatment because she doesn't want to prolong the phase.

Phase Three: Hearts and Flowers

He's genuinely sorry, even if he doesn't tell her so; tries to make it up; truly believes he can control himself in the future; says, "This time I really mean it."
This phase is her reinforcement for staying; gives hope to her traditional value of "love getting us through."
This is the most difficult stage to separate in.
This is the stage most social agencies see people in, helping to explain why women return home.
The batterer is at risk here for suicide, homicide, and child snatching.
At this point the woman needs to leave for her survival; the man needs to stay for his survival.

Slowly but surely the loving, contrite behavior exhibited by the batter during Phase 3 will give way to his lashing out occasionally, indicating that the cycle is beginning again.

Many women who stay at Safe Harbor ask, "How can I tell if he is changing?" The following questions help us to identify if her abuser is in fact recovering:

Is he trying to get you to come home or does he understand that you are afraid of him and need some time away to become stronger and feel better about yourself?
Does he blame you and call you names, or can he communicate his anger in direct non-intimidating way?
Does he just get himself more and more angry, or does he tell you he needs to cool off, calm down, and he will call you back when he does so?
Does he get quiet and moody, or does he express his feelings clearly to you?
Does he blame you for his violent behavior, or does he take responsibility for his actions?
Is he only interested in when you are coming home, or does he talk about what he is learning in counseling?

Excerpt from The Male Batterer: A Treatment Approach; Sonkin, Martin, Walker; 1985