The Voice of a Survivor

“I am your neighbor.  I am your sister.  I am your mother.  I am your daughter.  I am your best friend.  I am the lady in the line at the grocery store. I am everywhere. I have been controlled for so long I have forgotten how to make my own decisions.  I have been called fat and stupid.  I have been told I am a terrible mother and a terrible wife.  I have been drug across the house.  I have been threatened with the death of myself and my children if I tell a soul or try to leave.  I have been jerked by my hair.  I have been awakened in the middle of the night to be punched over and over.  I have had bruises that I showed no one.  I have tried to tell my minister but he only suggested I be a godlier woman.  I have run as fast as I could to get away only to come back out of fear, guilt, shame or hunger.  My career has been sabotaged.  My money has been controlled.    My children have learned to disrespect me.  I have learned to disrespect myself.  I have believed I don’t matter.  My spirit has been beaten down.  I have been beaten down.  I grew to believe there was no way out.  I would live in this hell forever.  I have drunk myself into oblivion trying to escape.  I have forgotten what I love.  I have left so many times I lost count. One day I left. One day I woke up and ran to the light of Safe Harbor.  I carried my broken self and my broken babies to a place of hope.  I was given love and shelter.  I was fed.  I met others who had escaped the same hell.  I lay down at night and slept safely.  I cried and I cried and I cried.  I woke up to a new day.  I woke up to a new life.  I was given things I had learned to go without like clothes, soap, shampoo, love and acceptance.  I began to trust a few.  I began to trust myself.  I began to stand up straight.  I came alive.”                                ~ by Caroline, a survivor