By Lauren Stephens, Children’s Advocate at Safe Harbor
In the children’s program at the shelter, we recently had two sisters, “Hannah” and “Sarah”, who had come to Safe Harbor with their mother after fleeing a dangerous domestic violence situation in their home. These two girls had not yet been given the opportunity to heal or to fully understand what happened with their father due to other situations that occurred in their transition. These two girls are beautiful examples of the differences that exist within the dynamic of sisters. They look so much alike externally, and even after going through identical traumatic situations, they both have learned to handle this trauma in completely different ways.
One day, Hannah was playing with a Jacob’s Ladder that I have in my office; I have found if you occupy a child’s hands, their ability to feel their emotions expands greatly. As Hannah played with the Jacob’s Ladder, she said, “Can I ask you a question?” I responded, “You can ask me anything you want.” She then replied, with her head low, hands still busy, “Is it okay if I want to cry all the time?” I responded, saying, “It is completely okay to want to cry, and it is okay to cry. Crying is your body’s way of letting something go. The tears you cry is your body’s way of showing you that it is letting go of what makes you sad.”