Welcome to Safe Harbor’s Blog

1. Lost Innocence

   I knew a young girl once just starting on love’s path
   She was so carefree and happy and would always make you laugh
   Then one day she fell in love and her world suddenly all changed
   Her life soon become full of heartache and she was playing grown up games

   She couldn’t understand how someone who loved her would want to hurt her so
   She was now trapped in a world of pain and had no place to go
   The first time that he hurt her was the day her innocence died
   So she began to look for a place deep inside herself for somewhere safe to hide

   Each time he raised his hand to her he would tell her she was to blame
   So she would look for ways to change but her life remained the same
   She traveled deeper inside herself until even she had lost her way
   She couldn’t understand what she had done and why her life had to be this way

   Now this carefree girl of long ago was bruised and hurting and she felt so ashamed
   She thought the world would look at her and know the truth that she was the one to blame
   She believed when he would tell her she would never make it on her own
   And because no one else would ever want her this prison would always be her home

   So she settled in to her life of pain and decided maybe this was where she was meant to be
   For she was just a nobody that could do nothing right as she was sure the world could see
   She raised her children the best she could trying to shield them from the pain and strife
   She thought taking them and leaving would be so tough and it would ruin their life

   Then one day the pain all stopped and he raised his hand to her no more
   He told her he was so sorry and wished he could take back what he had done before
   But it was to late by then the damage and scars he had made would never mend
   And the love she once felt for him she had buried so deep never to be find again

   So her family all raised the best she could she had no reason now to stay
   She packed her bags and walked out the door and ran so far away
   She soon found out that life out there wasn’t at all like he said it would be
   And yes someone else did want her and his love for her would fill a sea

   She still has the scars and pain inside her and some days they come back to hurt her so
   But she’s slowly finding that carefree girl she buried so long ago

2. Thank you for sharing this poem.

3. Thank you so much for starting this blog. I very strongly believe that in order to effectively deal with the issue of domestic violence in our society, we first have to educate our communities about the prevalence of the problem, the dynamics of abusive relationships and how they affect society as a whole, and *why* victims stay in abusive relationships- we have to dispel the ridiculous notion that victims stay because they “like” the abuse, or that they deserve it because they stay. As someone who survived an abusive marriage, I feel that it is my duty to educate as many people as possible about domestic violence–we need to affect this issue as much as possible, from fighting to have laws passed that protect victims, all the way down to educating would-be victims about the characteristics of abusers, so that they can avoid these types of relationships altogether. Because as myself and other victims know all too well, once you are in the trap, you aren’t just fighting for your life, you are fighting to keep your very soul intact.

   Bravo to your organizaion for all you do for our community, and for providing a safe haven for our victims.

4. She was such a pretty child, as pretty as could be.
   The blondest hair and bluest eyes, this little girl of three.
   She lived next door and I would often see her play outside.
   Putting all her dollies in a wagon for a ride.
   I often thought how beautiful she would be when she’s grown.
   She was just the cutest thing as she played there alone.
   I only knew her parents from a passing wave or “hi.”
   They did not want to socialize each time that I would try.

   I sometimes heard them arguing when I was in my yard.
   I know the problems people have can sometimes make life hard.
   I thought they were just loners because they kept to them self.
   They might think I am nosy if I try to offer help.
   They never bother anyone, the other neighbors say.
   And the little girl can only go out back to play.
   You only see them come and go, they never stay outside.
   You wonder when they act like that, have they something to hide?

   One day I heard them arguing, much louder than before.
   As I looked out, the little girl was standing by her door.
   Her little face was bruised and tears were running down her cheek.
   I wanted to go over there, but I was scared and meek.
   Finally when the screaming stopped, and everything was calm
   I saw the little girl was being held close to her mom.
   Her mother rocked her back and forth, and she was crying too.
   Just standing in the back yard, there was nothing I could do.

   Nothing I could ever do, would be of any use.
   This mother and this little girl were suffering abuse.
   She had better call someone and get this thing resolved.
   But, it is not my business and I cannot get involved.
   As I spoke with neighbors, about what went on next door
   They all agreed, that it was sad, it’s something we abhor.
   It’s something we must overlook, we cannot interfere.
   But, now we sing a different tune, as we are gathered here.

   The neighborhood feels guilty,
   for we looked the other way.
   Are we all responsible for being here today?
   We feel the anger and the shame, because we all stood by
   Knowing now we could have helped, but didn’t even try.
   And now this little three year old, so beautiful to me
   Surrounded by her dollies, just the way she loved to be
   Is in a little casket, with her body limp and frail.
   Her mom is in intensive care, her dad is now in jail.

   The funeral home is quiet, because we all realize
   The reason you must get involved is right before our eyes.
   Abuse in any form is something we must all resent.
   And fight with every tool we have to save our innocent.

5. Today is hard for me…

   I am scared
   I have so many great friends
   and a loving caring family
   yet I feel so alone

   Deep within me I feel such pain
   and overwhelming feelings
   How does one heal those wounds?

   I can’t breathe my children need me
   all the time~I don’t know how or think
   I can be everything

   All they have is me…the weight, the pressure,
   the constant struggle within myself…to not be
   angry at their fathers for leaving me alone.

   I want to be a good mother more than
   anything in the world but I feel so weak. I can’t
   taste anything anymore? Why is that?

   My children’s smiles and laughs
   make me so happy. Discipline, structure, balance, support
   and love.

   What is a good mother? Who will feed me, take care of me, support
   me in an adult way?

   I am weak, I cry and hide under my pillow
   or go out and be carefree. Where am I and where
   am I going? I am not alone…I know this!

   Randy, why did you leave me, to addiction, to raise our children
   emotionally and physically alone? Why?

   How unfair is that! I carry the pain you instilled in our children,
   the weight to be honest, good, dependable, loving and nurturing
   is all on me.

   I am overwhelmed…what do I do? I have bills to pay…I feel
   so emotionally weak. Yet again I can’t hold it together…I am so
   embarrassed, weak and sad. I need help…but I won’t get it until
   I ask for it. I won’t-I can’t…I will, I CAN!

   I love my children with all that I am. The hardest thing to do is
   to fail them. I can’t run and hide…I am needed! This is a blessing
   I know…but sometimes I can’t breathe…I struggle to stay afloat. How do I put all the pieces to the puzzle of life together…I feel like I am missing pieces to my puzzle.

   I can’t hide, I can’t put the pillow over my head.
   Today is hard for me…but tomorrow will be better!

   Written by: Lisa K. Nelson
   May 6, 2010

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