My name is Alesa Leach. I am 52 years young. I Love My Life! I am a mother of 5 grown sons and 9 grandchildren. I Am Truely Blessed! I’ve been married and divorced 3 times. Looking for love in all the wrong places! I’ve struggled with low self esteem since I was a young girl. When I was young, I saw my father abuse my mother and his other wives but he never physically abused me and even though my father abused them, he could never do any wrong! My parents were divorced when I was young. My father and I were close and I never knew that what he did to my mother and his other wives would have an affect on my life and how I accepted the abuse all these years in my own life.
My mother and father abused drugs and alcohol and because they did those things, our home was unstable and my brother and I were moved around a lot. My brother has been incarcerated most of his years because of things that he picked up from my mother and her dealings over the years!
I was molested by a family member and a so-called family friend. I never told anyone until I was in my 40’s and it has affected me my whole life and didn’t realize it. I have been dealing with post-traumatic stress all these years and didn’t know. I thought about suicide but if I did that, I thought about who would take care of my children. Noone can take care of a child like their own mother can. As I look back on my life, my children saved me and I’m thankful!
I became permiscuous as a young girl because of being tainted by sick individuals. I had five sons by five different men by the age 26. I never turned to drugs because my parents did those things not knowing that sex was my vice and I felt like drugs would kill me instantly if I tried them anyways! I didn’t know that dealing with all the men that I have dealt with would greatly affect me as a woman and a mother. While being in these relationships, I have accepted abuse physically, verbally and mentally.
I went to jail and eventually prison behind Domestic Violence and it wasn’t even my fault. I didn’t want to get hit anymore and I accepted so much. I didn’t realize that my father had set a pattern for me. My father died when I was 16 and I couldn’t believe that he was gone but I look back and wonder if him being alive would have affected me negatively even more. Things happen for a reason!
I graduated high school on time. I got married in my early 20’s, 30’s and 40’s. In several of my relationships, I dealt with physical, verbal and mental abuse. And I didn’t know how to deal with what I was going through. I wasn’t taught a lot of positive things growing up, so I learned a lot of things by experience. I started having trust issues because of the abuse that have happened in my life.
I was looking at 20 years in prison behind Domestic Violence because I didn’t tell anyone that I was going through but thank God that I only received 9 months, (6 prison camp and 3 months half-way house). My ex didn’t feel like he needed counseling and he always said that what goes on in our house, stays in our house. That’s definately not good especially when abuse is going on!
I can say that through my process before going to prison, the judge gave me 3 months to get my affairs in order. My uncle stepped up to take care of my sons while I served my time. I worked two jobs before I had to turn myself in. Once again I say, I Am Truely Blessed!
When I got out of prison and got my children back, it was rough! My children and I experienced being homeless because it is expensive in San Diego, Ca., with a felony now, working a minimum wage job and taking care of children alone. What kept me going was my faith in God and going to church and keeping my children involved. Before I left San Diego, Ca., a Pastor and his wife took me and my children in their home and I also worked in their restaurant as a manager. Their family encouraged me and my children at that time and I was thankful! Along the way people have encouraged me and my children and I have prayed! During my time in prison, I had to go to counseling and talking really freed me! Prior to me going to prison, I didn’t talk about what I was going through but once I started talking, I would cry a lot and released a lot! And when I talked, other women started talking. I will never keep my mouth shut again because everytime I share my stories, someone gets free! I went back to school and got my Associate Degrees in Business Management and Criminal Justice and during my classes, when I could choose my topic, I would share my stories and women would come to me after class and thank me for speaking out. All I can say is that I can’t hold it in anymore! My “I AM BOUGIE Slogan came about when I found out someone called me BOUGIE as being negative but I turned it into a positive! My self esteem will not be shot down anymore because I’ve been through too much to go backwards! As women we need to encourage each other more often instead of knocking each other down!
BOUGIE – I AM A Blessed Overcomer Understanding God’s Illuminating Excellence!
#AlesaQuietStormLeach – A friend of mine gave me the name QuietStorm because most times I’m quiet until I start sharing my testimony. My sons are doing well and taking care of their children and families. It hasn’t been easy raising my sons but I was determined. They all graduated from high school and they are hard workers and I am so proud of them all! I’m grateful!
